The Self-Love Guide

Safety announcement in the plane:

In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.

Why is this crazy girl talking about airplane safety announcement? I will tell you why in a few seconds. First let me summarize the problems I have observed many times.

I have seen so many people investing love, energy, care, and hopes in other people. They built a home in others, a place they feel comforatble. A place where they go back to after a stressful day. However, with investing so much love, energy, care and hopes in someone else, they neglect themselves. And therefore they start believing that their happiness is based on someone elses.

So what does go wrong exactly?
We learned to put others first. We learned the importance of being successful. We learned to work hard and make as much money as possible. What we never learned is how to keep ourselves feeling fueled for that journey.

People for example think that happiness comes from a relationship, which is for sure correct, you CAN be happy in a relationship.  Nevertheless, real happiness can only be achieved by people who love themselves in that relationship. If you are in a relationship and you do not love and invest in yourself, you can have the perfect partner but still won’t be able to be happy.

Now you might think that self-love sounds selfish, but it is not.

Your Self-love Is Beneficial for Others

Coming back to my Introduction about the airplane announcement. Flight attendants always tell us to put your masks on before helping others with theirs. Why? Because you can’t help others if you can’t breathe. Self-love works the same way. You cannot give love if you don’t have that love within. You cannot help others when you are not full of fueled yourself. Taking care of yourself is the first step to do good for others.

 Self-love For A Better Life

The moment we start loving ourselves, we experience positive shifts. Life begins to become easier, things begin to fall into place. Relationships improve, health improves, and life begins to feel good, so good that you feel like you could achieve anything you want.

Know your worth and love yourself. If you are looking for your happiness, your feeling of home and comfort you should start  looking and building it within yourself not someone else, not a partner a friend of family.

How to practice Self-love?

Identify and Prioritize Your Needs

In order to create a loving relationship with yourself, you’ll have to identify your needs. Stop ignoring them, while prioritizing the needs of others such as your partners, friends, family, and colleagues. Self-love is all about identifying your needs and then making them a priority in your life. It’s about doing what truly feels right for you. If partying does not feel right for you but your friends are real party animals, simply say no. If that is a reason for your friends to stop being friends with you, they were no friends anyways. This is only a simple example, but there are so many more things in life where you should first listen to yourself and your own needs. Do not feel pressured by anyone, follow your own feelings.

Set Boundaries

This bringt me to the second point. The more you love yourself, the less you’ll accept or tolerate being treated like crap. You’ll gain the power to decide what you will and will not accept in your life. If someone treates you with disrespect, you do not have to accept this. Why should someone else give you a bad feeling about yourself? They only can do this if you, yourself are not sure about your worth. So stop accepting bad behaviours because you know your worth.

Find Your Own Happiness

Stop seeking happiness outside of you. You won’t find it. You may find temporary happy moments, but you won’t find long-lasting happiness. Acknowledge that once you love yourself you do not need an external factor in order to feel happy. External people are a great add-on but should and cannot form the base of your happiness.


Learn to forgive yourself

Forgive yourself. Most of the time we are so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsiblity for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes. However, mistakes are not bad as long as we learn from them and do not do them twice. We can learn and grow with mistakes. If you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.


Purpose of life

As I described in my post Everybody Has A Calling In Life before, everyone has a purpose in life. Your purpose doesn’t have to be crystal clear to you in the beginning but follow a purpose is a part of loving yourself. You might not know yet what your calling is, however, if your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make the right decisions for your calling without even knowing.

Practice good self-care

You will love yourself more, once you take better care of your basic needs, nourish yourself daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

To Summarize

  1. Invest love, energy and care in yourself
  2. Set boundaries
  3. Have good intentions always
  4. Forgive yourself




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